Dispelling 4 Common Myths About Borderline Personality Disorder

In the eyes of those who do not have a fully articulated understanding of what BPD entails, some actions undertaken by those with the illness may indeed appear to be manipulative. However, people with BPD are not acting out of malice, but out of an intense desire to cope with overwhelmingly difficult feelings about both themselves and their relationships. What may be interpreted as manipulation is, in fact, an attempt to deal with an acute fear of abandonment, distrust, insecurity, and distress, often as the result of powerful formative traumas that leave you unable to spontaneously formulate healthy social responses. Viewing these complex responses as simply manipulation misses their true origin and intent and further marginalizes people living with BPD.

BPD can indeed impact your ability to maintain healthy interpersonal relationships due to the emotional instability, fear of abandonment, and high degree of sensitivity brought on by the illness. However, the fact that BPD affects your social behaviors does not mean that you do not experience the genuine love, affection, warmth, and empathy of true and meaningful social bonds. Furthermore, not all people experience BPD in the same way; while some struggle to maintain relationships of any kind, others have close, meaningful friendships and partnerships that last a lifetime. Acknowledging the diverse range of experiences with BPD is critical to creating an inclusive community in which each person’s unique history is recognized and honored rather than flattened to fit a stereotype.

Many people—even clinicians—believe that BPD is not a treatable condition. Too often, this erroneous belief strips people diagnosed with BPD of hope and can negatively affect your ability to find compassionate, effective treatment. It is true that certain types of treatment are not effective for BPD, but research into specialized treatment modalities such as Dialectical Behavior Therapy reveals that treatment is not only possible, but can be remarkably effective and provide full remission of symptoms. One study examining the long-term outcome of treatment on 290 hospitalized patients with BPD found that 50% of patients experienced full recovery 10 years after initial treatment, 93% experienced remission lasting at least two years, and 86% experienced remission lasting at least three years. Patients who experience the benefits of multiple intensive therapies designed to address the full scope of their emotional and behavioral symptoms can offer real and lasting relief while improving social functioning, reducing mood disturbances, and creating a more cohesive sense of self.

This is one of the most frustrating myths that I see perpetuated amongst clinicians. Yes, it is true that some people don’t adhere to treatment. However, given the negative reception many people with BPD have experienced in the medical community and the ineffective treatment many have been subjected to, non-adherence is not surprising. As one woman living with BPD points out, “It is hard to comply with something that does not feel aimed at helping you.” The fact is that many people with BPD live in a state of acute psychological pain and go to great lengths to relieve that pain in both positive and maladaptive ways; when given meaningful, effective treatment options within a supportive, compassionate environment of trust, empathy, and respect, people with BPD can and do commit to recovery and undergo profound personal transformation.